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"...Even when I know you're wrong"

Posted on September 14, 2010 at 3:58 PM

While completing the daily bike circuit yesterday – oh, that’s right; I’m still biking! Not quite ready to join Team Lance but way less likely to join Team Heart Attack either – a song came on the old iPod from Train, “Drops of Jupiter.” That song has a line near the end that always resonates with me. In fact, I played it twice. The line is, “Your best friend always sticking up for you; even when I know you’re wrong.”

 

That line is just SO powerful. To have someone that you know that has your back; who will stand beside you and go to war, EVEN when they know you’re wrong. After just writing about the lack of loyalty amongst manufacturers and customers lately (found here... )  this song has made me want to talk about some people that do have my back; even when I’m wrong.

 

You hope that family will be there for you, but more commonly there the first ones to jam the knife in. My cousin, Chris is there for you; well, may not YOU, but for me. (Except for when he is in Iraq being there for the SEALs. Here’s a great guest post Chris wrote for me on silenced weapons.)  But when he IS there, he is ALL there. If something ultra dramatic ever went down – kidnapping, stuck in a foreign country, accidentally stumbling into Mob business, forced to participate in a futuristic game show where I’m hunted for prize money – I’m calling Chris. And I *know* he’d come and take care of things. Once when we were in Big Sur, I was unable to swim/climb up this rock that people were jumping off. You had to swim through like 100 yards of freezing water to get to this rock that was super slippery and climb up through a cascade of water, all the while treading water amidst a crowd of people. Anyhow, I got cold and tired, swam back, didn’t climb/jump. So, it is like 11 PM that night and I’m talking with Chris, and I say, “Chris, if I said I really wanted to go back – right now – and do that jump. Would you come?” And he said, “Little (his name for me), if you felt like you needed to go and do that jump right now, I’d say let’s get hiking.” That’s Chris.

 

My brother, Adam, is another fiercely loyal SOB. In fact, he’s the personification of the Arabic saying, “Me against my brothers; me and my brothers against my cousins; me and my cousins against the world.” Family is amazingly important to Adam, and I know that he – we’ve pretty much stopped battling against each other for the most part – has my back. I also know that Adam would stop what he was doing, walk away from his job, buy a plane ticket, and come if you said, “I really need you.”

 

Outside of family, I have two other friends who have always been there. (Though, I guess I should include Craig, because if you ever need someone to accompany you on a clandestine (totally not weird, or creepy or stalky) drive past Becky Frodsham’s house in the late ‘80s, I could recommend no better wingman. And there is certainly some comrade-in-arms going on there.)

 

First is Dan, aka “my friend Dan.” (Apparently even to people who thoroughly know exactly who just-plain Dan is, I repeatedly introduce him as “my friend Dan.” Perhaps it is a bit of subconscious jealous possession as in “I know how cool he is, and, yes, you are going to want to be his friend too, but he is MY friend Dan, and let’s never forget that, shall we?" ) I’ve known Dan the modern equivalent of forever. I met him nearly 30 years ago (Holy crap! Has it been THAT long?!). I can’t think of too many tasks where I’ve made Dan stick up for me even when I’ve been wrong, but I know that he would. On one occasion, Travis (whom we’ll talk about in a bit) provoked a fight at a beach. Apparently it was going to be multiple people against Travis. But Dan stood up, shoulder-to-shoulder with Trav and figured he’d be matching up with the biggest guy standing across from him. Even though Trav was wrong. (I wasn’t there, so not forced to posse up for this skirmish.) Because that’s Dan. I also know he’d fly cross country just to hang out for a weekend. Multiple times. (OK, an Aston Martin may very well have been involved, but even when that was almost falling apart at the last second, Dan was STILL getting on the plane and coming.) Or that when he says you’re always welcome to come by, anytime, he means it. (However, he actually DID quite literally drop me off of a rock face at that same gorge in Big Sur once. The gorge apparently being the crucible where bonds of loyalty and friendship are forged. It started out with, “Grab my hand; don’t worry. I’ll pull you up; I won’t let you go.” And ended with, “You’re pulling us both down! I’ve got to let you go!” )

 

Finally is Travis. Who, though we’ve mostly drifted apart because of time and distance, remains the embodiment of loyalty. Though Travis was far more likely to actually GET you into trouble in the first place, once you were in, he would stand fast. I could totally picture Travis actually taking the rap for something instead of giving up a friend. Or, “Hey, I don’t think you should do this; but if you DO, I’m gonna be there with you.” Or, far more likely, defending you even when you weren’t around. “Hey, that’s my friend you’re talking about; and I don’t want to hear any of that.”

 

If you’re lucky, you’ve got family and friends that are always there for you. If not, there’s always the Latin Kings, Traveling Vice Lords or Four Corner Hustlers. (Come on, Bloods and Crips are so played out!)

Categories: September 2010, Family

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11 Comments

Reply [email protected]
9:20 PM on September 15, 2010 
You are really in the minority. Not many people have so many friends that would be "there" for them even when REALLY needed. I'm not sure I do except for Aunt Amy. She would drop everything and be there in a heart beat for me. (Oh, for those of you who don't know Aunt Amy, It is Chris's mother) so I guess it runs in the family.
By the way..........................I would be there for you even before you asked me too.......
Reply Dana
9:41 PM on September 19, 2010 
Hello?!?!? Can anyone hear me?
Reply Keely
10:54 AM on September 21, 2010 
Dana, I hear you - and your bitter tears as they hit the ground, all dramatic-like. You should be on this loyal list! After all, you've stuck by John through all of the rare (read with sarcasm) occasions when he's been wrong. Represent!
Reply Dana
5:52 PM on September 23, 2010 
Amen, sister. When I'm accepting my Oscar, I imagine I'll say, "I'd like to thank the Academy, director, writer, producers, fellow actors, my parents, my siblings, my gorgeous daughter...wow, I feel like I'm forgetting someone...oh well. Peace. I'm out."
Reply Pamela
6:09 PM on September 23, 2010 
If any one should have been on the list it should have been you followed by me and John. Oh I think he just knew that everyone knew you were on the list without having to say so.................I'll make a list for you and you will be #1
Reply T~Law
2:23 PM on September 30, 2010 
Ohhh I remember that day like it was yesterday.... 4th of July circa '88-'89. As I remember it, it's a foggy memory from the shock of my brain slamming to and fro against my skull, Dan WAS there standing at attention as the dude kicked my ever loving a$$! Dan DID have my back though. As I asked him when he was planning to jump in, he pointed to the large number of soccer playing Mexicans converging on the fight with a Beach Patrol 4x4 approaching in the distance. He figured they'd have it under control once they finally arrived. Bloodied, I appreciated his pointing out that we were severely out numbered and the calvary was on their way. 30 seconds later the other party was handcuffed and on the tail gate of the squad truck. The only disappointment was not seeing Dan Kung Fo fight those bastards. Oh I'll get you into any situation, usually a bad one, but I know how to get out of them all... and if I don't I know some one that will.

John's a loyal friend as well. When I was diagnosed with cancer, he came to me and said, "If you've only got a month to live, we're heading straight for Disneyland, hiding out until the park closes and snorkeling the Submarine ride. Who cares if we get arrested, it will be worth it!" Good friends=good adventures.

T~Law OUT!
Reply Craig
3:50 PM on October 18, 2010 
I'm proud to make the honorable mention list...even though I think there may be some better wingman event that could've been used to put me there...how about the night I dragged you to multiple parties at UCSB and nursed you through the hangover afterwards? That's a better wingman story.
Reply John Sciacca
10:48 AM on October 19, 2010 
T~Law says...
John's a loyal friend as well. When I was diagnosed with cancer, he came to me and said, "If you've only got a month to live, we're heading straight for Disneyland, hiding out until the park closes and snorkeling the Submarine ride. Who cares if we get arrested, it will be worth it!" Good friends=good adventures.
T~Law OUT!

I do recall that. The sneaking into Disney and midnight snorkeling the submarine ride was long an odd and inexplicable fantasy of mine. (Sadly, now that the ride has been reworked into Ariel's Under Sea Adventure, it has lost some of its cache...) And, fortunately, it didn't come to that, but yes, we would have figured out a way to do it and it would have been legen -- wait for it.....
Reply John Sciacca
10:50 AM on October 19, 2010 
Craig says...
I'm proud to make the honorable mention list...even though I think there may be some better wingman event that could've been used to put me there...how about the night I dragged you to multiple parties at UCSB and nursed you through the hangover afterwards? That's a better wingman story.

I'd say "Wow! I don't even remember that!" but I think that would just lead credence to Craig's tale. (Damn you, kegs of Keystone!!!) I would have preferred the time we stood shoulder-to-shoulder in a spontaneous orange fight that broke out in your house...
Reply John Sciacca
10:50 AM on October 19, 2010 
John Sciacca says...
it would have been legen -- wait for it.....

....dary!
Reply Craig
2:17 PM on October 19, 2010 
John Sciacca says...
I'd say "Wow! I don't even remember that!" but I think that would just lead credence to Craig's tale. (Damn you, kegs of Keystone!!!) I would have preferred the time we stood shoulder-to-shoulder in a spontaneous orange fight that broke out in your house...


The key word there that people need to understand is "in" your house, not "at" my house, in. I remember it all being fun in games until somebody clobbered you with a phone book.