Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

John Sciacca Writes...

Features, Reviews and a Blog by John Sciacca

Random Thoughts (Blog)

Random Thoughts (Blog)

Music is ugly. Put a mask on it!

Posted on April 14, 2011 at 11:07 PM

If you’ve been stealing darkness for all of these years, just closing your eyes and basking and focusing in that cool, refreshing blackness, there’s a new company that wants to put a stop – and a price – to that. First, you’ve been doing it all wrong. Second, you just show me where it says that “darkness” is one of your inalienable rights, and I’ll show you a company that says, “We’re from the Netherlands! We don’t recognize you or your lambskin Constitution with its fancy calligraphy and quill feather pens!”

 

Thanks to a heads-up from Nick Brown at Caster Communications, I have discovered a product destined to change lives and shape nations. This is a product that is backed by the nebulous and nefarious sounding phrase “scientific research” and narrated by an Anglophile proving that it is both believable and effective beyond any reasonable measure.


Let’s face it, for some people, sitting all alone in a room, listening to music by themselves while drinking glass after glass after scotch is just TOO social. At any moment some family member might come waltzing into the room, see your eyes open and then try and sit and listen next to you or – oh, shudder to think! – engage you in some activity that required interaction. Like talking! Unthinkable!


The product sure to resolve this sensitive issue is Musicmask. Now, less you think this is a regular mask I want to both assure you that you are wrong and then vehemently tell you to shut the hell up! What makes the Musicmask special is that it “has been specially designed for listening to music at home through standard speakers.


“But, John. How does that differ from a regular mask?”


To that question, I answer, “What is wrong with you? Were you not reading? I said 'specifically designed for listening to music!' 'At home!' 'Through standard speakers!' Does any part of that sound like ‘regular mask’ to you, Einstein?”  Yeah, that’s what I thought.


The genius behind the Musicmask lies in the understanding that audiophiles suffer a rare but easily treated disease. Audiophilia nervosa insecuritus is the constant torment and suffering that there is something better out there that is just around the corner. That the more bizarre, off-putting and difficult to explain to others, the greater the sonic gains. That by raising cables on specially harvested, non-renewable rare wooden blocks you can ensmoothen the transfer of electrical molecules, thus making them happier. And if there is one thing that every audiophile knows it's that a happy molecule produces better, warmer, more gooey-butter-filled sound. Or that components will only perform their best following cryogenic freezing, and that the ultimate listening environment would, in fact, be inside a giant cylinder of liquid nitrogen. Or that if the ions in the air particles around your listening chair should become unstable, you might as well jam that Q-tip into your ears up to the hilt, because you’re listening experience is just ruined. Ruined! So, Musicmask understands this need to chase the audio dragon of better sound. And they have found the easiest way to make your current system sound better: Keep you from looking at it.

 

With your vision completely blocked “scientific research shows that removing visual stimuli increases the perception of music.” I sense another retarded question coming on, so I’ll allow it. “John, I’ve been listening in the dark for years. I just close my eyes! Are you saying I’ve been doing it wrong?”

 

In short, yes. But more to the point, you’re an idiot. By the fact that you are listening to music by just closing your eyes, I first have to question whether you even own an audio system. I think you are confusing “sleeping” and “night terrors” with listening to music.  Also, how can I fully trust how tightly your eyes are closed? What if even a single scintilla of audio destroying light should leak through? What if during a particularly moving passage you decide to just up and open your eyes? Perhaps a tear will leak out and let in even one scant lumen. Congratulations! YOU’VE JUST DESTROYED THE ENTIRE LISTENING EXPERIENCE FOR YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!


So not only does the Musicmask completely shroud your eyes, blocking out light better than a hooded prisoner exchange, it goes one step further. The critical step the Musicmask offers for getting the maximum performance that has to offer is keeping your eyes open while listening. Yes! Put a mask on your face THEN open your eyes! It’s so devilishly simple, yet even-more devilishly scientific! “Musicmask users have also indicated that they enjoy being able to ‘see’ the stereo sound in the dark.” Musicmask wearers develop a Spidey-sense and it is constantly tingling. Tingling in a good and special way that makes them hope the tingling sensation will build, and build and build and then EXPLODE in a maximum audiophile tingle!


See, your eyes are basically shrewd, ruthless overlords; essentially two spiteful orbs that try and run the whole show. They say, “Hey, brain! Listen up, stupid! We’re up front and center. Just try walking around without us!” But the ears are cunning and stealthy. They just bide their time knowing that soon dark will come and then where will high-and-mighty eyes be? Useless, that’s where! “Senses always ‘fight’ for the brain’s attention. By removing vision, the ears are given more processing power, as it were, to digest sound. As a result you hear more details, you experience a greater sense of space and a greater sense of 3D.” Yes! 3D! In your ears! Take that, eyes! You and your constant bragging of “Hey ears, seen any good 3D lately! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!” In response, the Musicmask finally allows ears their long-waited opportunity to definitively declare, “Hey eyes! Kiss our ASS!”

 

Further proof can be found at the collegiate or bar level where discussions of “one bag” or “single bagging” or even the rarer “double bagger” are used to describe and enhance or allow some male-female encounters. To be able to fully enjoy the company of a perhaps less than fully desirable partner, a bag can be used to help eliminate the visual stimuli, thus allowing the male to focus on the other, non-facial-area qualities, of the woman. The Musicmask employs a very similar approach, but without the embarrassment of putting a bag over your or your audio system’s head. Also, the foam layer is cushy and padded and, unlike a paper bag which can smell like onions, leaves your nose free to fully embrace the audio experience. Plus it keeps the mask itself clear of your eyes, so they are forced to remain open, staring aimlessly into the complete blackness, punishing them for their years of abuse and misleading ways. The highest quality Velcro is employed in the strap to ensure a custom fit with each wearing.




“But, John. I don’t think I suffer from Audiophilia nervosa insecuritus. Do you still think I need this?”


The short answer, “Absolutely.” The longer answer, “Yes. Absolutely.” The Musicmask should be considered crucial whenever a sensory deprivation need arises. While music listening is of course the intended focus, it can also be wonderful for discouraging any airline conversations, practicing ninja skills, light interrogations, bondage experimentation and so much more!


According to Peter Chattelin, owner of Chattelin Audio Systems, the daring pioneer that agreed to host a Musicmask party, that looked like it might have been teetering on the brink of becoming an Eyes Wide Shut mask party, commented, “It is probably only once every 20 years that a product appears on the market that is entirely different to existing products and that truly adds another dimension and raises the listening experience to a higher level. That’s what makes this product so unique.”

 

 If you asked me to rank high-resolution audio, iPod, diamond/beryllium/other rare material speaker construction, powered subwoofers, advanced room correction software, or any other audio improvement from the past 20 years against the improvements from a single listening session with the Musicmask I would take a deep breath and then punch you straight in the neck. That’s how strongly I feel about Musicmask. But don’t take my word for it; here are some video captures from the riveting presentation:




Go on, shine a Mag-Light straight into your face! Just see if that lessens your listening pleasure even one fraction with the Musicmask in place! You’ll be challenging your friends to find brighter and brighter listening environments just to shame them into knowing that they music offers full shut off!



 

Frankly, I find this comment a bit offensive. We’re all audiophiles here. We know that great audio comes at great cost. When I hear that something is affordable, I immediately dismiss it like a $3.99 red wine. Affordable means that others can own it and that means that I no longer want it. I would quite prefer the Musicmask was made from exotic materials and spun fibers and cost thousands of dollars. Perhaps an upgrade model offering even more light blockage? However, $45 for about $.37 worth of foam is the kind of premium upcharge that I can tolerate. Though just.



 

Mmm-hmm. And your pulse was slowing and you felt your organs shutting down one by one? Sir, did you also see a bright light and someone beckoning you towards it? I think what you were experiencing was slipping into a comatose state. Musicmask is clearly not without its hazards, as the full sensory denial can confuse older listening into thinking that it’s time to die. Parents of children under 8 are encouraged to use Musicmask during “relax” or “daddy needs a scotch” time.



 

This seems difficult to believe when clearly this is a man that is not easily excited and who sets his expectations high at each encounter. “I’m going to put a mask over your face, completely shutting out all light. Then we’re just going to see what happens.” Clearly, expectations were running sky high!




This clearly had nothing to do with sitting literally in the middle of the audio presentation. She went on to further add, “It was like someone was sitting right next to me in the room. I could have sworn that I actually felt his hot breath on my cheek. It was unnervingly real! Then it was as if he were touching my leg. Lightly at first, then more insistently and rather inappropriately. The sensations were so believable! I will probably never be able to listen to jazz again, it was that disturbing. When I removed the mask, the man next to me said he had no idea what I was talking about then he quickly got up and left.”




Of course, I don’t know any of these losers. All I know is what I can try for myself. Sadly, I didn’t have immediate access to a Musicmask, so, I did the next best thing. I turned all of my lights off, threw a black shroud over all of my equipment, put on a welder’s mask and put on some music. It was definitely revelatory. I could hear the center French horn player sweating. Each sweat droplet exploded out of his pores like a volcano exploding. A woman playing piccolo had a chipped back tooth. It was actually quite distracting. But, assuming that if blocking one sense was good, I decided to up the ante and try enjoying music by blocking other senses. By putting on some ski gloves along with the Musicmask I noticed that I could definitely hear an entirely new world of audio. I could tell for instance, that the floor of the orchestral hall hadn’t been vacuumed recently and that the pianist was left handed and sitting on a vinyl covered bench. Sure, that was better, but I wanted to probe deeper into the music. What was needed was cutting off another sense. I wadded up some cotton balls and jammed them into my nostrils. With the sense of smell also removed, my concentration opened up three more layers. I could tell that harpist had a slight heart murmur and that the violinist in the second chair was suffering from a rather unpleasant case of irritable bowel syndrome. One of the cellists was nervously rubbing her toes together and it was clear that she had a hole in her sock. The left one. Sure that was better, but I wanted to reach a plane where I was on a sub-atomic level with the audio experience; a point to where I wasn’t even listening to the music any longer but rather the air molecules rubbing and colliding against one another. I decided to up the ante and cut of my sense of breathing. Immediately I was assaulted by a new level of sonics previously unimagined. It was as I’d been living my life with my fingers jammed in my ears. And they were dirty and needed a manicure. The music disappeared and below it all, I hear a new sub-symphony. Whiskers were growing, An oboist was thinking about having pasta for lunch. A string on a violin bow remembered the horse it came from. Then below it all, suddenly standing out in stark relief was a beautiful, precise singing of little gears and springs. Clearly the conductor was wearing a Patek Philippe. I opened my eyes wider, staring into the darkness of the mask and…yes..it is a…white face…Calatrava…5119 movement. And the time was 6:39 PM. Sure, that level of detail might be suitable for some. But I knew I could reach even deeper into the music. And that’s when I passed out. It was magical and spiritual and the only true way to listen to music.


Finally there is a viable option worth considering to elective surgical blinding! You might not be able to put a price on darkness; but Musicmask can.The revolution is coming. Put a mask on, open your eyes and get ready to listen for it!

Categories: April 2011, Music, Bizarre

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

You must be a member to comment on this page. Sign In or Register

298 Comments

Reply Scottinipt
11:06 PM on October 14, 2017 
Hi
Reply Scottinipt
8:19 PM on October 18, 2017 
Hi
Reply Scottinipt
5:59 AM on October 19, 2017 
Hi
Reply Conniegam
4:01 AM on October 30, 2017 
Aliexpress is Star shopping...
Reply Januszek45rew
5:26 AM on November 2, 2017 
Szukasz wartościowego źródła informacji dot. kredytów parabankowych? Ostatnio kredyt bez bik jest wśród mieszkańców Polski niesamowicie powszechny, jednakowoż niestety nie wszystkie oferty pożyczek są korzystne - przede wszystkim po to założyliśmy tę stronę, aby wreszcie Polacy mogli dowiedzieć się, który kredyt bez zaświadczeń jest godny uwagi pod wszystkimi względami. Regularnie umieszczamy swoje rozważania na temat nowych ofert kredytowych, zatem wystarczy zaglądać akurat do nas, aby orientować się jaki kredyt gotówkowy jest korzystnie oprocentowany, całkowicie pozbawiony ukrytych opłat, itp. kredyt bez bik pozyczka bez zaswiadczen pozyczka gotowkowa Bezrobocie, długi albo kiepska płaca nie są kłopotem dla planujących uzyskać kredyt gotówkowy - no przynajmniej mowa w tym momencie o odwiedzających naszą stronę. Rzeczywistość jest taka, że umieściliśmy w serwisie przydatne porady, które powodują, iż natrafienie na kredyt bez zaświadczeń, naturalnie atrakcyjnie oprocentowany, to żaden problem. Jednakowoż wortal nie ma tylko i wyłącznie czysto informacyjnego charakteru - również można najzwyczajniej w świecie załatwić na nim kredyt bez bik.

Pewnie chcesz nareszcie wziąć taki kredyt gotówkowy, który spowoduje, że zakupisz sobie choćby telefon komórkowy bądź opłacisz stomatologa, ale potem nie będziesz mieć nawet najmniejszych przykrości. No cóż, od czego jest otworzony przez nas serwis? No co jak co, lecz dosłownie nikt kto sensownie podejście do lektury treści na stronie nie będzie mieć wątpliwości odnośnie tego jaki kredyt bez bik, a właśnie o kredytach bez żadnych zaświadczeń mowa, jest czymś wskazanym. Oczywiście wszystkie z porad zostały napisane w taki sposób, że każdy zrozumie o co chodzi. Przecież kredyt bez zaświadczeń jak najbardziej może być przyjazny. Pod każdym względem.

Przydatne kompendium porad dla tego człowieka, który nie za bardzo wie, który kredyt bez bik na ten moment jest w ścisłej czołówce. Trudno generalnie wybrać parabank, ale po dokładnej lekturze prowadzonego przez nas wortalu nareszcie absolutnie wszystko będzie jasne. Żywimy nadzieję, że kredyt gotówkowy istotnie jest tym czymś na czym świetnie się znamy - reakcje czytelników są zawsze pozytywne. Chętnie odpowiemy na wszystkie pytania jeżeli wchodzi w grę kredyt bez zaświadczeń, często aktualizujemy stronę, a więc wszyscy pożyczkobiorcy powinni być zadowoleni.
Reply MichaelPef
12:13 AM on November 8, 2017 
Велосипед Stels Pilot 240 Girl 1 Sp 20 (2015) ALNB.RU
url=http://alnb.ru/velosiped-stels-pilot-240-girl-1-sp-20-2015.h
tml says...

Велосипед Stels Pilot 240 Girl 1 Sp 20 (2015) ALNB.RU!..
Reply MichaelPef
3:58 AM on November 8, 2017 
Велосипед Cube Aim Disc 27.5 (2015) ALNB.RU
url=http://alnb.ru/velosiped-cube-aim-disc-27-5-2015.html says...
Велосипед Cube Aim Disc 27.5 (2015) ALNB.RU!..
Reply oksiPex
1:49 AM on November 14, 2017 
fdfd
Reply JuliusFuH
5:03 AM on November 24, 2017 
post
Reply NLBizDrync
5:22 PM on December 6, 2017 
url=https://nlbiz.ru/ says...
NL International
Reply Isabelle88rew
6:58 PM on December 6, 2017 
Szukasz wartościowego źródła porad dot. kredytów parabankowych? Ostatnimi czasy kredyt bez bik jest wśród Polaków niesamowicie popularny, jednakże niestety nie wszystkie oferty kredytowe są atrakcyjne - przede wszystkim po to otworzyliśmy tę stronę internetową, aby wreszcie Polacy mogli dowiedzieć się, który kredyt bez zaświadczeń jest godny zainteresowania pod każdym względem. Regularnie umieszczamy swoje rozważania na temat nowych ofert kredytowych, zatem wystarczy zaglądać do nas, aby wiedzieć jaki kredyt gotówkowy jest korzystnie oprocentowany, najzupełniej pozbawiony ukrytych opłat, itp.
url=https://bezbiku.ebrokerpartner.pl says...
kredyt bez bik
url=https://bezbiku.ebrokerpartner.pl says...
pozyczka bez zaswiadczen
url=https://bezbiku.ebrokerpartner.pl says...
pozyczka gotowkowa
Bezrobocie, zadłużenie albo beznadziejna płaca nie są kłopotem dla pragnących wziąć kredyt gotówkowy - a przynajmniej mowa w tym momencie o naszych czytelnikach. Fakty są takie, że umieściliśmy na stronie przydatne informacje, które sprawiają, iż trafienie na kredyt bez zaświadczeń, naturalnie bardzo korzystnie oprocentowany, to nic kłopotliwego. Jednakże wortal nie ma tylko i wyłącznie czysto informacyjnego charakteru - również można po prostu załatwić sobie właśnie za jego pośrednictwem kredyt bez bik.

Zapewne chcesz wreszcie uzyskać taki kredyt gotówkowy, który spowoduje, że kupisz sobie chociażby lodówkę czy opłacisz wynajem mieszkania, ale później nie będziesz miał żadnych przykrości. Cóż, niby od czego jest zatem założony przez nas wortal? No co jak co, lecz dosłownie nikt kto sensownie podejście do lektury zawartości na stronie nie będzie miał wątpliwości odnośnie tego jaki kredyt bez bik, a właśnie o kredytach bez żadnych zaświadczeń mowa, jest strzałem w dziesiątkę. Oczywiście porady zostały tak napisane, że definitywnie każdy pojmie o co się rozchodzi. W końcu kredyt bez zaświadczeń jak najbardziej może być przyjazny. Pod każdym względem.

Przydatne źródło informacji dla tego osobnika, który nie za bardzo wie, który kredyt bez bik na tę chwilę jest w czołówce. Trudno zazwyczaj wybrać parabank, lecz po dokładnej lekturze prowadzonego przez nas wortalu wreszcie absolutnie wszystko będzie już jasne. Żywimy nadzieję, że kredyt gotówkowy istotnie jest tym czymś na czym świetnie się znamy - reakcje czytelników to potwierdzają. Chętnie odpowiemy na wszelakie pytania jeżeli wchodzi w rachubę kredyt bez zaświadczeń, regularnie aktualizujemy witrynę, a więc wszyscy kredytobiorcy powinni być usatysfakcjonowani.
Reply Justinmurry
3:39 PM on December 7, 2017 
Brak zatrudnienia, duże zadłużenie bądź beznadziejna wypłata nie są problemem dla chcących wziąć kredyt gotówkowy - a przynajmniej mowa tutaj o czytelnikach naszej strony. Rzeczywistość jest taka, że zamieściliśmy na tej stronie wartościowe porady, które sprawiają, iż natrafienie na kredyt bez zaświadczeń, naturalnie bardzo korzystnie oprocentowany, to nic problematycznego. Jednakowoż serwis nie posiada tylko i wyłącznie czysto informacyjnego charakteru - także można najzwyczajniej w świecie załatwić właśnie za jego pośrednictwem kredyt bez bik.

Pewnie pragniesz wreszcie pozyskać ten kredyt gotówkowy, który sprawi, że zakupisz sobie chociażby pralkę albo opłacisz wynajem mieszkania, ale potem nie będziesz mieć nawet małych przykrości. No cóż, niby od czego jest właśnie założony przez nas wortal internetowy? No co jak co, lecz nikt kto sensownie podejście do lektury treści w serwisie nie będzie mieć wątpliwości odnośnie tego, który kredyt bez bik, a właśnie o kredytach bez konieczności załatwiania zaświadczeń mowa, jest czymś odpowiednim. Oczywiście wszystkie porady zostały tak napisane, że każdy pojmie o co chodzi. Przecież kredyt bez zaświadczeń jak najbardziej może być przyjazny. Pod każdym względem.

Przydatne źródło porad dla takiego osobnika, który nie za bardzo wie, który kredyt bez bik na tę chwilę jest w ścisłej czołówce. Trudno ogólnie wybrać parabank, ale po dokładnej lekturze naszego wortalu wreszcie absolutnie wszystko będzie jasne. Żywimy nadzieję, że kredyt gotówkowy istotnie jest tym czymś na czym doskonale się znamy - reakcje czytelników zwykły to potwierdzać. Z wielką chęcią odpowiemy na wszelakie zapytania jeżeli wchodzi w grę kredyt bez zaświadczeń, często aktualizujemy witrynę, a więc raczej wszyscy kredytobiorcy powinni być zadowoleni.
url=https://kredytbezbik.ebrokerpartner.pl says...
pożyczka bez zaświadczeń

url=https://kredytbezbik.ebrokerpartner.pl says...
kredyt bez zaświadczeń o dochodach

url=https://kredytbezbik.ebrokerpartner.pl says...
pożyczka internetowa
Reply LadyBBWsexkr
1:07 AM on December 12, 2017 
i have nice fuck
Reply Donaldalbum
11:12 PM on December 14, 2017 
купить
Reply RosarioSek
6:25 PM on December 18, 2017 
заказать продвижение сайта интернет магазин логин в скайпе SEO PRO1
Reply RosarioSek
2:42 PM on December 25, 2017 
заказать продвижение сайта в москве логин в скайпе SEO PRO1
Reply XMikoDikoX
12:38 PM on December 26, 2017 
I don't know yours language but i need to share sth with you...

All of us need to have a well-balanced eating plan for living a healthy existence. It is noticed that generally, people do not use a healthy diet plan because of numerous motives frequently. From time to time, the chaotic and demanding chosen lifestyle causes us to disregard the body's requirements; while other times, the all-eating passion for fad foods shall make it challenging for us to take a well-balanced and nutritious diet. Individuals who don't have a nutritious diet plan frequently grow to be toned and drained of energy all the time... which particular fatigue keeps them back in carrying out numerous day-to-day responsibilities.

The good news is a whole selection of dietary or natural supplements are for sale in the existing market, supplements that basically help all of us to keep up a far healthier and simpler quality lifestyle. A ongoing wellness or dietary supplement could be described as a health meals, which complements what we eat with assorted essential nourishment including nutritional vitamins, minerals, fibers, fatty proteins and acids that might or might not be contained in the diet plan of an individual. To describe it much more plainly, chances are you have been told that several medical professionals recommend frequent usage of calcium mineral products to developing youngsters, ladies and older individuals for sustaining wholesome articulations and bones. Furthermore, nowadays, numerous wellness specialists globally claim that everyone ought to take in correct amounts of supplements to look after the chaotic way of life.

Several dietary or natural supplements providing that you should satisfy particular nutritional requirements of the human body can be purchased. Determined by your own need, you either can select a dietary supplement for proteins, or natural supplements for joint disease or a dietary supplement for men and ladies health issues perhaps. Below are a few of the natural supplements that focus on precise nutritional necessity for a much healthier lifestyle.

Dietary Supplement for Weight Reduction: These kinds of fat loss organic supplements or health supplements have grown to be very widespread in the field of weight reduction and among those who are looking for a straightforward strategy to drop how much they weigh.

Natural Supplements Omega 3,6 and 9: These types of Omega elements are extremely important fatty acids which have been necessary for the body to execute many functions. It really is frequently utilized by folks for protecting from heart related illnesses. This generally includes E-DHA and EPA, which both support the cardiovascular system features.

Nutritional supplement for joint disease: These types of natural supplements take apart the real cause of the ache brought on by arthritis. A particular plant based element works well for decreasing the swelling, tightness and inflammation that take place with sufferers going through joint disease.

Health supplement for men of most ages: There are many types of natural nutritional supplements for guys, which are particularly designed for men's body. These kinds of health supplements unwind them from tension and exhaustion.

Natural Supplements for women: These kinds of supplements supply daily boost of minerals and vitamins, consistent ingredients, digestive enzymes and protection assistance supplements to ladies.

Increasing numbers of individuals are day by day applying natural supplements to stay in shape. You may even decide on the nutritional supplement befitting your necessity and transformation to a better and more joyful life.

Website : Multilan Active
Reply RosarioSek
10:30 PM on December 28, 2017 
заказать продвижение сайта забайкальский край некоммерческие сайты логин в скайпе SEO PRO1
Reply RosarioSek
5:49 PM on December 31, 2017 
заказать продвижение сайта крайне недорого поможем логин в скайпе SEO PRO1
Reply GregoryZot
9:24 AM on January 5, 2018 
Hello. And Bye.