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John Sciacca Writes...

Features, Reviews and a Blog by John Sciacca

Random Thoughts (Blog)

Random Thoughts (Blog)

She poops, she scores!

Posted on March 12, 2010 at 2:15 PM

We have been struggling for a while to get our 3 year old potty trained. And despite bribes (offers of candy and promises of wondrous toys – talking Buzz Lightyears, dancing dragons, etc.) and threats (poop-spanks and time outs and just all-around our crushing disappointment) she has been completely disinterested in using the potty for numero two.

 

Now, Lauryn is clearly smart enough to do this. She says things like, “I’m not talking to you, or you, and definitely not to you” she makes up her own knock-knock jokes that actually work and even after about 10 days can still remember that “Way to go, Hannah!” got her a free ice cream at Ben & Jerry’s. She also totally knows when she needs to go. About a year ago she would say, “Go away. I need privacy” as she went off to a corner to, well, you know.  Then she kind of skulks out with a “Now you need to change me.”

 

But I think I’ve cracked the Davinci Code which is getting her to use the potty: movie bribes. (Though really bribe is such an ugly word. Not ugly like changing a 3 year old's diaper, but still...) She loves watching movies on our 100+ inch front projection system. With her coze blanket and personal bowl of popcorn. So far, the key to getting her to potty-up has been the promise of being able to watch a new movie. First it was Toy Story 2. Then it worked again with Up. And then Ice Age 3, and G-Force and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. And if all goes well today (read no “accidents”;) then Robots tonight. (I offered her the Robots bribe on Wednesday night, and came home yesterday to a high-five of “Daddy, I used the potty! Now we can watch the robot movie!” This was a far better welcome than the dead, bloated possum I received earlier…;)

 

So, as long as Hollywood keeps churning out kid-friendly animation, I should be all set. So, to recap: multi-million dollar movie + multi-thousand dollar home theater system + $1 bag of artificially buttered popcorn = potty. Sounds like a fair trade.

 


Categories: Mar 2010, Family, Movies

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12 Comments

Reply Lauren
2:34 PM on March 12, 2010 
That's the reason Keely was able to go see Shutter Island with me. She totally went # 2. In the potty and everything-not behind the couch which is her normal place for "privacy".
Reply Keely
2:39 PM on March 12, 2010 
Give credit where credit is due. I earned the movie ticket. Earned it real big.
Reply [email protected]
4:01 PM on March 12, 2010 
After reading a number of your "posts" I firmly believe you would make a great editorial writer for a newspaper. HEY!, if anyone is reading these; take a serious look at this man he really has a style and wit we can all appreciate and respond to.
Reply [email protected]
4:03 PM on March 12, 2010 
If the movie bribe does not work after a while you might try giving her a pull-up and see if she wants to change herself. Oh don't forget the wipes!
Reply John Sciacca
5:37 PM on March 12, 2010 
Lauren says...
That's the reason Keely was able to go see Shutter Island with me. She totally went # 2. In the potty and everything-not behind the couch which is her normal place for "privacy".

Ahhhh, Lauren. So nice to have on aboard! Looking forward to many hilarious comments at Keely's expense!
Reply John Sciacca
5:39 PM on March 12, 2010 
[email protected] says...
After reading a number of your "posts" I firmly believe you would make a great editorial writer for a newspaper.

Dear Newspapar Owner: I realize that you are barely able to keep your publication afloat these days and can't really pay writers what they're worth, so I'll just take a tip o' the hat and a kind word in return. Cheers!
Reply Pamela
5:40 PM on March 12, 2010 
Oh! I thought of something else that may do the trick----READY??? A puppy or kitty!!
Reply Malia76
7:36 AM on March 13, 2010 
Thanks for my morning laugh ( AND CRY, THIS IS REALLY QUITE SAD). Just think of what it is going to take to get her to get up in the morning for school or clean her room. I think you may need to start wooing a movie producer or two to make movie shorts of some sort for each accomplishment.
Reply JR
6:07 PM on March 13, 2010 
Love your title.....although it could have been "She Poops, I score!" since you don't have to change the icky diaper!

Actually, I am smiling from ear to ear, because my "poopers" are all older now. They still give me occasional sh**, just a different variety! Oh, the joys of parenthood.....

Good luck with the blog/website. Keep writing!
--Your former journalism teacher :-)
Reply Ashley
10:25 AM on March 14, 2010 
Right on! Such a victory for all. Now for the accidents-even more fun than changing a diaper! My only criticism would be for daughter #2 (I'm being very presumptuous here), if to offer a Hannah Montana doll instead of Buzz Lightyear, a dancing princess instead of a dancing dragon perhaps? Nevermind, shame on me for stereotyping, but I know $1 Hot Wheels cars did the trick for Jack and cost a lot less! If I stop using the potty, may I watch a movie in your plush surroundings?
Reply John Sciacca
10:09 AM on March 15, 2010 
Ashley says...
offer a Hannah Montana doll instead of Buzz Lightyear, a dancing princess instead of a dancing dragon perhaps? If I stop using the potty, may I watch a movie in your plush surroundings?

She loves Buzz Lightyear and the dancing dragon we saw at Toys 'R Us has been a subject of conversation for months! You're welcome to watch a movie any time.....regardless of your potty skills! And can I just say, PLEASE don't let my most popular story be one about poop...
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